Do you ever come across jerks?
That was a rhetorical question. Of course you do. The world is filled with jerks. But why are some people jerks? and how should I respond to them?
These are the two questions that I find myself pondering after a brief encounter with a really nasty jerk.
Living as my authentic self basically means having 24/7 vulnerability. Despite the obvious risks that come along with this sort of exposure I find myself continuously pursuing this lifestyle. That may sound a bit crazy, especially after today's incident, but it's true, and the reason that I do it is because the reward of complete vulnerability makes this life much more colorful.
So why are some people Jerks?
I can only answer this question from my own personal frame of reference, so here I go...
The only reason I can imagine why anyone would be a jerk is because they are in pain. Whether they are consciously aware of that pain is a whole different story.
I imagine that most people who are jerks aren't even really aware that they are being jerky. It's probably a subconscious response that they have created because people have been jerky to them.
In essence, it's not their fault that they are jerky-it's the only way they know how to feel ok.
So how do I respond to them?
Simple. Respond to them in the same way you'd respond to someone who isn't a jerk.
But then I end up feeling hurt because of how they treat me.
That's ok because if you allow yourself to feel that pain it will go away.
I imagine that what jerks are trying to do when they hurt you is to get you to feel the pain that they are feeling.
I find humans to be weird like that. We like to feel what other humans are feeling, and unfortunately icky feelings exist.
What's more unfortunate is that you can't numb yourself from icky feelings without numbing yourself from good feelings too, and it is those good feelings that make life so colorful!
So yes, we will have to deal with jerks. But it's not their fault they are jerks. The pain you feel from encountering them will subside. Don't allow jerks to make you become numb to life.